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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29973870">the most dangerous thing is to love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/the__pigeon/pseuds/the__pigeon'>the__pigeon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Logstedshire on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Probably ooc, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicidal Thoughts, this is so self indulgent, warnings before each chapter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:31:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,574</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29973870</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/the__pigeon/pseuds/the__pigeon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Dream had blown up Logstedshire, Tommy was left with three options: leave, die, or stay. He chooses to stay.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. the first fall of logstedshire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i have been planning this for so long you have no idea sjdfhsdjf</p><p>but welcome!!! to my fic!!! the title is from 'achilles come down' by gang of youths!!!</p><p>speaking of songs, (almost) every chapter has three songs attached to it and here (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLoXOONr0xhHeqbA8ZrSCiDsYWImlUewHD) is the full playlist on youtube. however bc the fic is still very much a work in progress, not all the songs are chosen yet. i'll add songs as i find them though :]</p><p>anyway</p><p>this fic is super dark. be warned. it's also incredibly self indulgent. projection amiright?</p><p>also quick note on the sbi family tree (bc apparently this is important to the plot sjfhsdjfsdjf): phil+<s>fridge</s> goddess of death &gt; wilbur. wilbur+sally &gt; fundy is all biological, wilbur basically found tommy and decided ‘thats my brother’ and phil just went along with it, phil tried to do the same with techno but techno is stubborn and doesn’t want to get too attached, and tommy found tubbo on the side of the road and then dragged him into the family :]</p><p>NOW. enjoy :3</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dream blows up Logstedshire.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>warnings for this chapter: explosions, fire, burn wounds, animal death (rip musroom henry. taken from us too soon), suicidal ideation/thoughts, the same aborted suicide attempt as is in canon. tell me if i should add any more</p><p>(manipulation/abuse etc is present in every chapter)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>duolingo learning : spanish<br/>
reddit<br/>
snapchat girl: streak=6<br/>
spotify playing: XXX Joecyyln Flores<br/>
spotify playing: SAD -xxx<br/>
Apple Music playing: One is the loneliest number</p><p> </p><p>He had fucked up.</p><p>He knew that. It was made very apparent from the first piece of TNT dropped in his bunker. He had fucked up <i>so</i> badly.</p><p>It was a ripple of explosions, one after the other. One dropped in the bunker, sending a shockwave that pushed Tommy back against the dirt and forced Dream to stumble back. One dropped in a hole that Tommy dug at Dream’s request. One dropped on the Prime Log, which Tommy had tried to break but Dream had more TNT than he had energy to stop it.</p><p>“Come here and watch, Tommy,” Dream had said coldly when Tommy had tried to run away (he acted on impulse, running back to Tnret. He needs to stop acting on impulse. He needs to start listening to Dream).</p><p>One dropped on Tnret, blowing up his mailbox, his bed, his Enderchest, his photos to smithereens. One dropped on the Nether portal, severing his last connection to everyone else. One dropped on Mushroom Henry (he was fuckin’ spinning). One dropped in Ghostbur’s house.  Seven threw about Logstedshire as a whole, sending the walls crashing to the floor, creating an uncomfortably familiar crater, and throwing Tommy back.</p><p>The explosions burnt the nearby forest. Destroyed his home. He had been too close, gotten caught in the fire. His skin was raw, and boiling hot, and at some parts he was almost certain it would tear off if he hit it too hard.</p><p>Dream had left Tommy with burn scars, no items other than a jukebox, and a whole lot to think about.</p><p>
  <i>You’re here for a very long time, Tommy. But you need to start over. Get new stuff, build a new place, but next time? Don’t make the same mistake. It won’t happen.</i>
</p><p>Get new stuff. His inventory was steadily filling up with dirt and stone and wood as he wandered vaguely around the wreckage, so that was checked out. Starting over seemed difficult. Last time he started over, he had had Dream and Ghostbur, and it didn’t feel like either of them would be here now.</p><p>
  <i>I’ll visit you. Maybe not every day, but I’ll visit.</i>
</p><p>He had said at least once a week. At least; which implies maybe more. Tommy feels like he’s never been happier when he heard that. Sure, Dream isn’t here now to help him build a new place to stay, but he’ll be here later! He’ll visit!</p><p>
  <i>Sorry doesn’t cut it, Tommy.</i>
</p><p>...Then what will?</p><p>
  <i>You can’t go to the Nether, no one can come here, you are alone. As soon as I think that you have changed, then people can visit you again, you can go to the Nether again. But for now? No. No one can.</i>
</p><p>The portal was missing one obsidian block, that was it. That one block felt like miles, felt like years. Everyone he had once cared about was removed.</p><p>But Tommy just had to convince Dream that he’d changed! No, no, not convince, show. Tommy <i>would</i> change, and once Dream sees that, he’ll let people come back. Will let the loneliness subside, even momentarily.</p><p>
  <i>I have been nothing but gracious to you. </i>
</p><p>Tubbo had called him selfish. He was right, he had to be. Dream had confirmed it.</p><p>
  <i>Tommy, think about what you did.</i>
</p><p>He is, Ender, he is. He is sitting on the shore, watching the ocean (Ender, he hates the ocean), staring at the horizon in the hopes that Dream would come back, and all he can do anymore is think.</p><p>The idea of getting food makes him feel too sick to eat. The idea of rebuilding Logstedshire sounds tiring, and Tommy was so tired, and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he was getting weaker by the day, so rebuilding his home seemed impossible. The idea of leaving…</p><p>Could he leave? Sure, he couldn’t go to L’manberg, couldn’t go to Dream SMP, couldn’t go to El Rapids, couldn’t go to anything that Dream had control over, but one thing Dream doesn’t have control over…</p><p>Technoblade.</p><p>Tommy could go to Techno. His brother’s father’s not-son who had blown up L'manberg and killed Tubbo and tried to kill him multiple times and had mocked him during his first day of exile…</p><p>So not Techno.</p><p>Where else could he go? He could just walk away, but then he'd be even more alone and even Dream wouldn't be able to find him. He still wanted to see Dream.</p><p>He had nowhere. He had no one.</p><p>What was it, he had said to Dream after he had gotten mad, had blown up Logstedshire? <i>I wasn't planning on going on much longer. </i></p><p>Well, seems as good a plan as any, right?</p><p>The crater of Logstedshire is quiet, and for once, Tommy isn't even bothered about it. For once, it seems perfect. No noises, no other people, even his mind is quiet, dead set on thinking about what he's doing right now.</p><p>The dirt and stone and wood he had accidentally collected feel like they were meant to be, as he begins to build up.</p><p>He passes the clouds, but he doesn’t stop. Not yet, he can’t. Only once he runs out of blocks does he stop, sitting on the edge and looking over what once was Logstedshire.</p><p>Dream did this. Dream blew it up. Dream hurt him.</p><p>Dream is his <i>friend.</i></p><p>Why is this so confusing? Why is Dream being so confusing?</p><p>Maybe Tommy is just… stupid.</p><p>Yeah, that makes sense. After all, Dream would never hurt him, and Dream is <i>smart. </i>Tommy… isn’t.</p><p>Dream blew up Logstedshire to prove a point. To teach him a lesson. He had his best interests in mind, he had to. He was his friend. Dream was Tommy’s friend.</p><p>He looks over to the ocean. It seems so far away. To be fair, it is. Tommy’s so high up, the ocean probably is that far away. A fall from this height would kill him.</p><p>Death is something Tommy is much too familiar with. He had his spine broken in The Final Control Room, after Dream had emerged from the wall, and had been dramatic enough to throw Tommy into the air, where he died upon impact to the floor. He had died a second time, mere hours later, shot in the front of the head with an arrow by Dream, bleeding out to death in the water under the bridge.</p><p>Dream had killed him twice now. It looked like he’d kill him all three times.</p><p>Why would he do that? Dream is his <i>friend.</i></p><p>...Dream is his friend, right?</p><p>He has to be…</p><p>Dream can’t kill him a third time, because they’re friends. Why would he hurt him if he was his friend? It wouldn’t make sense.</p><p>Dream wouldn’t want to kill him. Dream wouldn’t want him dead.</p><p>His gaze lowered to the ground below him. The dirt, and wood, and fire, and stone. It looked so… appealing. An end for all ends. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t deny how much he wanted it. Wanted an end.</p><p>Dream wouldn’t want him dead.</p><p>Tommy stands up on his tower, wobbling as a gust of wind hits him, threatening to fall down. It didn’t feel like much of a bad idea.</p><p>
  <i>Dream wouldn’t want him dead.</i>
</p><p>He steps off the tower, and falls to the floor.</p><p>He lands in a nearby lake.</p><p>The water is <i>cold. </i> He falls in, and suddenly he's back to every time he wakes up, submerged in water and struggling to breathe, and weak and tired, and <i>cold.</i></p><p>He forces himself to swim up, struggles to make it back to the shore, and it physically hurts to breathe the clean, night air, but it makes him feel alive, and even <i>that</i> thought pains him.</p><p>He looks up at the moon, at the stars, and thinks about flying up there, flying up so high it felt like he could touch them. When he fell, he fell fast, and towards the ground like it was where he was meant to be. The ground. Where he nearly went before he fell into water.</p><p>It was cold water, and even now he was out of it and onto dry land, he was freezing. Luckily (but unfortunately), a nearby tree had caught alight from the explosion, and Tommy feels like a wild animal, like a Ender-damn raccoon or something dumb like that, as he scurries towards the fire, desperate for the warmth it provided, desperate to stave off the chill in his bones that reminds him of drowning and falling and dying.</p><p>What would he do now? </p><p>
  <i>Start again.</i>
</p><p>Again. No dead brother, no Dream, certainly not the passion and energy he had the first time. But he had to start again. Dream had told him to. He had to do what Dream told him to do.</p><p>Once a few minutes had passed and he was semi-dry and could move every joint in each finger, he stumbles over to where Tnret once stood. The fabric and the sticks that had held it up were charred and broken, and his Ender Chest he had worked so hard on was shattered, shards strewn about the dirt.</p><p>Might as well start here.</p><p>Tommy scrounges up anything that was still usable, which wasn't a lot, but he was able to find some wood, and enough wool to make a blanket. A thin blanket, but a blanket nonetheless.</p><p>He stuffed everything he could find into his inventory, and walked away.</p><p>He walks past the crater, refusing to pay it any attention, and finds the nearest spot of flat land with a tree, using the sticks to try and make some sort of wall against the trunk. It's flimsy, and there's a good chance it'll fall the second there's any serious wind, but it's all he has the energy to make for now. So he wraps himself in the sad, thin blanket he has, and leans against the tree.</p><p>He closes his eyes, and begins to fall asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i want to make it clear that this chapter is also considerably shorter than all the other chapters will be lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. december sixteenth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy searches for food, Techno arrives home from L'manberg, and Tommy has a visitor.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>fun note: techno is like 4'6 in this. he's a pig. pig's are 'small' animals. deal with it. <s>also i just think it's funny lmao</s></p><p>warnings for this chapter: starvation, talk of past death (as in respawn bc of the three lives thing), talk of past injury in semi-graphic detail, suicidal ideation, fainting, broken bones, food, hallucination mention, crying, arguing</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>duolingo learning : spanish<br/>
reddit<br/>
snapchat girl: streak=7<br/>
spotify playing: lonely dance - set it off<br/>
spotify playing: pigstep - lena raine<br/>
Apple Music playing: friends with you - the scary jokes</p><p> </p><p>As always, he woke up, and before doing anything else, he absent-mindedly walked to the shore and watched the horizon for a boat to arrive. His body practically screamed at him to eat, or drink, or to go lie down in the dirt and let the mobs take him, but he has priorities he needs to fulfill.</p><p>He stays there for about half an hour before he remembers what happened yesterday.</p><p>Dream probably wasn’t going to visit him today.</p><p>Tommy begins to walk back to Two-nret (as he has now taken to calling his new 'home'), feet dragging through the ash still scattered about. If anything, it’s been scattered about more since last night thanks to the wind. It had been so cold. It’s always cold, but the night can be unbearable. The wind, the lack of sunlight, the lack of a proper tent, still being somewhat damp from falling into cold water? It’s a miracle he doesn’t get hypothermia, but it's a miracle he'll take.</p><p>What to do?</p><p>
  <i>Eat.</i>
</p><p>Hm. Yeah. That might be a good idea.</p><p>He wanders back over to Two-nret, looking at the wreckage that was his bed. There was no food here. There was… nothing.</p><p>He sighs, and walks away, looking around.</p><p>The forest around Two-nret was scorched. Parts of it had burnt throughout the night, leaving patches of ash and dead plants. It was eerily quiet. All the animals must’ve scattered during the explosions. The mild forest fire definitely didn’t help give them much reason to stay.</p><p>Tommy needed to find food. Eating was a priority, and he hadn’t eaten in… two days? Three days? Time gets confusing after a while, but he knows that last he had eaten, his Snapchat girl streak was at 5. Or maybe it was at 4?</p><p>Almost subconsciously, Tommy finds himself wandering over to his phone and changing his streak from 6 to 7.</p><p>“That’s not food…” he mutters to himself as he stares blankly at the sign in front of him.</p><p>Food, food, food. He needs food. He needs to eat. At first, a few days ago, he had felt hungry, but right now he just feels tired and empty. There’s no hunger, there’s just a sense in the back of his mind that encourages him to eat. A similar thing happened in the early Pogtopia days, before Techno had arrived to start the potato farm they lived off of. Wilbur (Wilbur, but not <i>quite. </i>He was close enough) had said that's how hunger works: you start off hungry, and then your body realizes you're not getting food any time soon and decides to focus on saving the energy you have. Tommy doesn't know how accurate that is, but it sounds smart, so it must be right.</p><p>He stumbles into the woods around Two-nret. There are no animals to kill, or milk, or… egg. Mushroom Henry was blown up by Tommy (technically blown up by Dream, but it was Tommy’s fault anyway), and there was no one around to help him. Ranboo would sometimes share his food with him when he visited, but Ranboo must be busy today. What does it matter anyway? He stopped sending mail a while ago.</p><p>He weaves through the trees and bushes, looking for <i>anything</i> edible.</p><p>An apple grabs his attention.</p><p>He stops in his tracks, staring up at it. It was round, and red, and shiny, and it was nestled in some lush, green, oak leaves. His mouth began to water. It was also two or so feet above Tommy’s head. Pain.</p><p>He jumps, but it’s just out of his reach, and he stumbles awkwardly when his feet hit the ground again. Ender, he feels so shaky. It was… probably due to the lack of food, but whatever. He had food right in front of him now, so he’ll be fine.</p><p>He latches a shaky hand to the lowest branch he can reach, ignoring the strain on his arms from the burn scars from yesterday and the general tiredness. He hoists himself up, successfully throwing both his legs up, so he was haphazardly laying on the branch, apple closer in sight. than ever before.</p><p>Just a <i>bit</i> of a stretch further. It was in arm’s reach now.</p><p>Sure, the branch wasn’t stable, and it was highly dangerous, but if he didn’t eat, he’d die, and Dream doesn’t want him dead, so he needed to get this apple; that or starve to death. The cold, blank void of death. This time without respawn.</p><p>Respawn is… odd. Tubbo described it like waking up from a dream. A really, really unpleasant dream, where you’d wake up in a cold sweat, screaming from the horror of what you’d seen. It felt like the jolt of an electric shock, like the jolt of shooting up out of bed. Tommy had never seen Tubbo respawn, so he doesn't know how literal that is.</p><p>To Tommy, respawn was like falling unconscious really, <i>really</i> suddenly, and coming back alive after all your atoms rearranged themselves. You physically <i>feel</i> different, like everything that was you has been replaced, but it's still you. The first time he had died, it had been to a broken spine. When he woke up, his back wasn't in pain, but it didn't feel like it belonged to him. The second time he died was with a shot to the forehead. Still no pain, but this time there was a visible indication of what had happened, and he permanently now had a pale scar, only just hidden by his hair. He remembers the pain of how he felt right before he bled to death, the sting and the emptiness. That had left by respawn, but his head felt… off.</p><p>Wilbur described it as blacking out, then waking suddenly, with your chest heaving and your throat tight. He didn’t say much else. Tommy didn't push.</p><p>Ghostbur said respawning was like zoning out. Unlike the rest of them, Ghostbur seemed to have infinite respawns. Ghost privilege, apparently. He said it didn't hurt either. Tommy had an inkling of a suspicion that Ghostbur doesn't feel pain at all. Lucky bastard.</p><p>But that’s respawning, not dying. If Tommy dies now, he <i>dies. </i>It's meant to reassure him. Tommy had been wanting to die for so long, but every time he nearly did, Dream stopped him. <i>Dream doesn't want him dead. </i>He can't die now, so he needs this Ender-damned apple, so he leans forward and forward and forward and forward and-</p><p>And his finger slips, and he tips forwards, plummeting towards the ground.</p><p>He falls unconscious, with no warning, nervous to see if he gets the pain of rearrangement this time. He equal parts longs for it, and loathes it.</p><p>Everything goes dark.</p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>Techno is tired.</p><p>He’s been tired for a while. The Voices made it difficult to sleep most days, but he was The Blood God, a little less sleep than usual wasn’t going to kill him.</p><p>Believe it or not, summoning Withers actually takes a bit of energy. Phil had once said it could even drain your lifeforce. Techno doesn’t believe him. Sure, summoning as many Withers as he has in his time, he knows how tired you feel afterwards, but he’s fine. That can’t be the sole cause of his exhaustion.</p><p>Perhaps his lack of rest. He had been busy grinding Wither Skulls for the past month, that definitely took a toll. Then again, killing Wither skeletons was a lot like killing people, and he excelled at that, so why not the other?</p><p>The isolation couldn’t be it. He was born alone, he was raised alone. Alone in the Nether until he was nine, alone in the Overworld until he was fourteen. He had been fourteen when he made his first friend in Phil, and they were more battle partners for the first three years. And he wasn't alone now. Phil visited. Ghostbur visited. Tommy didn't, but Tommy hated him and the feeling was mutual, so it didn't matter.</p><p>Techno was tired, and post mortal.</p><p>Quackity was dead. It was either his first death, or his second. Techno didn't remember, nor did he really care. He was trying to kill Techno, so therefore he had to die. Go against Techno, go against The Blood God, and you will bleed. He should've known that.</p><p>So, yeah, Techno was tired, probably <i>because</i> he was post mortal. Totems of Undying were powerful, and extremely magical, and they only worked under very specific circumstances. Phil told him, ages ago, back when they'd first met at that monthly fighting ring, that Totems were the remains of Matel, a Goddess of Life who had been killed by a Goddess of Chaos. Apparently the first and only deity to ever die. Phil had heard passing tales of Matel, that she had sacrificed herself for humans, and gave her magic to allow them to respawn, and that humans made Totems in her name out of the extracts of her soul. Phil had been born before Matel had passed, so he was unfortunately stuck with no respawns.</p><p>Techno thinks Matel is just a folktale. Mortal’s desperate attempt at rationalising respawning. Phil defends her name. Perhaps he knew her. Techno won't ask, because he knows better than to pry into the past of the Angel of Death.</p><p>Real or not, Matel's name is tied with Totems. Dream knew a lot about Totems. Perhaps he knew Matel too. He acts like a God, but Techno doubts he is.</p><p>Now, Techno only has one Totem left. He'll give it to Phil. He deserves another chance at life.</p><p>Techno arrives at his cabin, one Totem left, no armour but unenchanted iron, and picaxe bloodied with the remains of Quackity. Alone. Post mortal. Tired.</p><p>Ghostbur seems to be hanging around that Endermen kid for now. The tall one, who looked like he didn't want to be there, but was there, and was a part of the Butcher Army, and is therefore an enemy. Ghostbur isn't here. He might visit later, but for now he isn't here.</p><p>Phil was under house arrest in L'manberg. Techno doubts they'll be able to keep him there for long. It's the Angel of Death being held by a bunch of Hybrids, none of which even stands a chance against Phil in battle. Maybe, <i>maybe, </i>the Endermen kid. He'd heard he came from Hypixel, recognised by Simon himself. He asked Phil when the kid first arrived if he knew anything, and all he had to say was that the kid was talented, but not the best. Better than most, but not better than Technoblade. No one is better than Technoblade.</p><p>But for now, Ghostbur was nowhere to be found, Phil was under house arrest (for now), and Tommy was stuck in Logstedshire with Dream.</p><p>Techno drags a hand down his face as he remembers what Dream had done today. Ender, he owed Dream a <i>favour</i> now, and there's no way for that to go well. He can only hope it'll be something easy like killing Tubbo, and not something he'll come to regret. He can only hope Dream doesn't start some sort of conflict with Phil. It might be the one thing he can't do. The one person he can't kill.</p><p>Ender, and Tommy was Dream's friend now, however that worked. </p><p>He hangs his picaxe on the wall, feeling the blood against his fingers. Quackity's blood felt endowed with tyranny, both his own, and someone else's. He had been affected by a tyrant: a full one, not one that was still full of love and compassion like Quackity was. Techno assumes it was Schlatt. He and Quackity had been… close, from what he had seen. He didn't know much, but he had seen it from a distance.</p><p>Quackity, despite everything, was still full of love and compassion. He loved L'manberg, he loved Karl and Sapnap (Phil had told him about their engagement. It seemed sweet. A weakness, but it was still sincere. A sincere love that is inherent in weakness), he obviously had some sort of care for Tubbo. They had both been affected by Schlatt. Brotherhood out of necessity that must've grown into a closer bond.</p><p>Respectable, he would give them that.</p><p>Despite it, Techno knew he would have to be on guard. He could leave nothing up to chance.</p><p>He begins to pace around his cottage. It needs to be <i>thoroughly</i> examined. If there's even a <i>chance,</i> even a <i>hint, </i>of something wrong, Techno might need to open the Vault. Might need to use it.</p><p>There's no sign of Quackity, of Tubbo, of Fundy. It's just him, and him alone. Nothing is out of place to how he had left it. Nothing has moved, nothing has been taken, nothing has been broken. No signs of any other person entering his house.</p><p>He doesn't let himself calm down, but he lets his shoulders relax and his gaze drop from his window for at least a few minutes at a time. </p><p>For the next hour or so, he simply sits. Techno is tired, and post mortal, and the Totem drained him of most of his energy, and for now, he will rest, if only a bit.</p><p>Just before sunset, when it was still plenty bright in the sky, Techno hears two voices that he recognises.</p><p>When he looks out his window, he is met with the familiar face of his dead friend's ghost, and the Endermen kid that had been a part of the Butcher Army.</p><p>Techno readies his still bloody picaxe (he's not going to clean it anytime soon) and opens his front door.</p><p>"Techno!" Ghostbur says, delighted as always.</p><p>Techno smiles warmly at him. "Ghostbur," he says simply in greeting.</p><p>The Endermen kid looks absolutely terrified. His hands are shaking as they rest on the hilt of his sword, his eyes are wide and averted (thankfully averted. Endermen and eye contact are not a good mix), and he's practically cowering behind Ghostbur except it doesn't really work because he's about two feet taller than him.</p><p>Techno pities the kid. He looks strong, but his fear makes him easy to kill.</p><p>"Techno, this is Ranboo!" Ghostbur says, seemingly ignorant to Techno's contempt and the kid- Ranboo's fear.</p><p>"Ranboo," he says, and he lets his picaxe dangle in front of his legs. "How nice to see you again."</p><p>Ranboo visibly gulps. "Hello." His voice isn't shaky, he'll give him that.</p><p>"Ranboo and I both don't like water!" Ghostbur says.</p><p>Techno remembers that his friend literally melts in water and that they're all currently standing in snow, and interrupts before Ghostbur can continue his thought. "Why don't you come inside, Ghostbur? It's dry."</p><p>Ghostbur smiles, and floats inside.</p><p>“Stay there.”</p><p>He closes the door behind him, then turns to the kid. Even though Ranboo was on the ground, and the top of the stairs Techno was standing on was four feet off the ground, Ranboo was still taller than him. Being four feet tall was annoying. Curse pigs and being tiny animals.</p><p>“I didn’t-” Ranboo says, but he cuts himself off.</p><p>Techno raises an eyebrow, grip on his picaxe tightening. “You didn’t what?”</p><p>He curls into himself slightly, eyes looking everywhere else. It’s a good reminder to Techno to also not look at Ranboo directly.</p><p>“I didn’t- it was- Tubbo just- he was- it- not it was- it was Quackity- but Fundy- and blood- it- no it- I didn’t- it was peer pressure- it got- they got loud, and I panicked.”</p><p>Peer pressured?</p><p>Ex Hypixel citizen, recognised by Simon himself, who is an unnatural height compared to everyone around them, who was peer pressured by the President of a country to publicly execute someone who they perceived as a traitor?</p><p>“I can- my Enderchest- Tubbo gave me your armour, I think- no Quackity did- no Fundy- no Tubbo, do I have your armour? I have something- something of yours- Ender Chest- I’d need to look in an Ender Chest.”</p><p>He was shaking so much.</p><p>“Can Ranboo come inside too?” Ghostbur says, poking his head through the wall to look at Techno outside. “Water melts me, but it hurts Ranboo.”</p><p>Oh. That would… explain why he was shaking so much.</p><p>“I have an Ender Chest inside,” Techno says calmly, motioning for Ranboo to enter.</p><p>He eyes Techno up and down, but the pain of the snow must be worse than the fear he has of Techno. Water must hurt him a lot then.</p><p>“Ender Chest over there,” he says, pointing to where it is as he closes the door behind them all, effectively trapping himself in with the kid. Shouldn’t be too difficult to kill him if he tries anything anyway.</p><p>Ranboo nervously scurries over to it, reaching in. “I should- I’m pretty sure they gave me your- your armour.”</p><p>Sure enough, he had Techno’s armour, and he handed over to him with no argument. </p><p>Techno equips it quickly, glad to be rid of the iron.</p><p>Ghostbur watches silently, but he’s smiling as he watches them interact.</p><p>Techno knows he won’t let the kid stay long. He knows he’s only here because Ghostbur seems to be somewhat attached to him. He wonders why that is, but he takes one look at Ranboo’s right half and decides to think about anything else.</p><p>He finds health potions, watered down with milk and honey, and offers them to his guests. Ranboo isn’t too talkative, probably because he’s still very visibly uncomfortable, but Ghostbur makes up for it, and barely lets a second pass with silence.</p><p>Techno is tired, but this is fine. He can stay like this for a little longer. He can stay inside, doing nothing but spending time with friends (and Ranboo), and he doesn’t need to do much else. Getting the rest of his items back from the Butcher Army is important, sure, but it’s not too much of a priority.</p><p>Techno is post mortal, and Matel may exist, or she may not, but he can thank her nonetheless for his remaining three lives.</p><p>Tommy had described Respawn like fainting, and being rearranged, and other non-poetic words, because Tommy is a kid, and he was panicking when he told Techno (Techno had killed Tubbo, and apparently this was the end of the world, or something).</p><p>Techno is post mortal, but he will never die, and he will never experience respawn, and he will never have to see Tommy again.</p><p>Wherever that kid is now, Techno is just glad he’s not here.</p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>Tommy wakes, and it’s dark.</p><p>He hasn’t respawned, but he hasn’t died.</p><p>He wakes, and there’s a familiar pain in his back, and an ache in his head and-</p><p>...he’s still alive.</p><p>Groaning, he rolls around, lying on his back and looking up at the sky above him. The tree leaves cover it, and the stars aren’t visible, but that Ender damned apple is.</p><p>Without thinking, he flips the apple off. It’s at least good to know that he can still move his arms.</p><p>“Better get up,” he mutters to himself, and spends the next five or ten or twenty minutes trying to get to his feet. He loses track of time, but he gets up eventually.</p><p>It’s fine. He’s alive, so Dream can’t be mad at him.</p><p>He begins to walk back to Two-nret. It’s dark, and cold, and his body hurts all over, but what does it matter? Everything is fine.</p><p>Before he gets to Two-nret, he sees someone standing at the bottom of the Tower he has built the day prior.</p><p>Tubbo.</p><p>His legs are already so weak from walking (his left leg feels like someone slammed into with a sledgehammer) halfway to Two-nret, he can't even think about being bothered to walk over to him. It's not the first time he's hallucinated, so what's the point?</p><p>He doesn't even notice he's fallen to the dirt until he tries to keep walking and gets nowhere.</p><p>Why does this hurt so much? He's died before, a little fall should be fine.</p><p>Tommy rolls onto his back in the dirt. Out of the woods and into the plains, he can see the stars again. He'd always felt connected to the stars. He remembers when he was younger, as a street rat sleeping on the street, he’d always sleep in the open, even if shelter was an option, just to stargaze. It was part of the reason why it had been so difficult when he first moved in with Wilbur and Phil. He wasn’t used to having a mattress, much less a roof over his head.</p><p>Suddenly his view of the stars is blocked by the Tubbo hallucination.</p><p>“Tommy?” it says, and it’s voice breaks on the second syllable.</p><p>Tommys throat stings, so he opts for lifting his hand towards the hallucination. Towards the stars.</p><p>It takes his hand, falling to the floor beside him. “Oh, thank Ender, I thought-”</p><p>The hand around his feels so solid and soft and real, and Tommy realises how desperately he’s missed this; this contact.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” it says. He says? It’s not really Tubbo, right? It can’t be.</p><p>There’s a loud sob, and Tommy knows it has to be real. That sob, that broken, terrified noise, it’s so painfully familiar. The aftermath of Wilbur’s death, of Tubbo running to him after losing his second life, of when they’d reunited after they both lost their first lives. Of being nine, and watching a scary movie, or being twelve and watching Phil come home covered in blood from thousands of battles, of being fifteen, and deciding to leave Business Bay, and find a new place, a new home, together, in peace.</p><p>How well that went.</p><p>Tubbo, real, broken, solid, Tubbo clenches Tommy’s hand between his, and cries. “Ender, I thought I lost you forever.”</p><p>He can’t do anything more than stare at him. All he feels is…</p><p>“Are you okay?” Tubbo asks, sniffling. He only cried like this when it was <i>bad. </i>“You look real banged up. Do you need first aid? I might have something.”</p><p>All he feels is hungry.</p><p>“I’m getting you up,” he says firmly. “You need- you look like you need food, and rest, and- Ender, is your leg broken?”</p><p>All he feels is hungry. </p><p>“This might hurt, but you need to sit up. Take a deep breath, okay?”</p><p>And then all he feels is pain, blood chilling, mind numbing pain, as Tubbo gently lifts him to sit up, placing a wool block behind him to lean against it.</p><p>Tubbo is talking. Tommy can’t hear him. He’s just… empty.</p><p>“-my? Tommy? Please answer.”</p><p>Tommy looks up at him. He looks more broken than Tommy’s leg feels.</p><p>“I’m going to leave and go get some food and stuff, okay? Stay here, and stay awake. I’ll be right back. Okay?”</p><p>He still can’t speak, so he nods weakly as his only response.</p><p>Tubbo stares at him. He looks… conflicted. Despite this, he gives Tommy's hands one last pat, then stands and rushes away.</p><p>With his head aching, Tommy falls back against the wool block, enjoying how soft it was. Last night, he had slept on the floor, and for a good fifteen hours or so today he had done the same, so this singular wool block felt like clouds against his pained back. It took all his effort not to close his eyes and fall asleep. Why did Tubbo tell him to stay awake? There has to be a reason, but Nether, Tommy didn't like it.</p><p>A few minutes (seconds?) later, Tubbo returned, a bowl of soup in his hands and a roll of bandages.</p><p>"This is- you didn't have an Ender Chest so I had to scrape to the bottom of my inventory, and this is- this is the best that I can get you for now," Tubbo says, falling back to his knees.</p><p>He holds out the soup. Mushroom soup. Tommy sniffles.</p><p>"He was fuckin' spinnin'," he mutters, voice sore and croaky, as he stares at the bowl of soup, and he resists crying as much as he can, even as his vision gets blurry and his nose stuffy.</p><p>"What?" Tubbo says, gently. Gently. So gentle.</p><p>Tommy reaches a shaky hand out to the bowl. His hand shakes so badly, that Tubbo holds the bowl with him, helping him to get it down.</p><p>Ender, he missed this. It'd been only a day, and the taste already felt nostalgic. It tastes… safe.</p><p>He struggles to drink it, and Tubbo must notice, because he pulls it away before he's even halfway done.</p><p>"'m still hungry," he whines. </p><p>"I think you might also be concussed," Tubbo says, and worry seeps into his voice.</p><p>Tommy pouts. "There's no-" he hacks out a cough, and feels the soup rise in his throat like bile, but he pushes through. "There's no cons to cussing. Unless you're- unless you're BBH."</p><p>Tubbo laughs, a short, quiet, excessively worried, and single 'ha', before offering the bowl back. "Drink it slowly," he orders.</p><p>Orders are not something he usually followed, but he supposed he could make an exception for now, so he drinks (or eats. Do you drink or eat soup?) the soup much more slowly.</p><p>A few minutes pass before the bowl is empty. Tommy can already feel the effects of the food, and though it definitely doesn't fix his broken leg, he can feel the more mild wounds around his body start to heal quicker.</p><p>"How'd you break your leg?" Tubbo asks, as he starts examining it and unrolling the bandage.</p><p>"Fell off a tree," he mutters.</p><p>"Why were you climbing a tree?" </p><p>"Needed food. Saw an apple." Hm. Not as eloquent as usual, but when was he ever? Dumb child as he is, words were never his forte. Still, this <i>is</i> slightly embarrassing.</p><p>"When did you last eat?"</p><p>"I dunno. A few days, probably."</p><p>He doesn't respond to that, but he looks… disappointed?</p><p>Tubbo starts to wrap the bandages around his left leg.</p><p>It's silent. Tommy still feels sick at the idea of speaking, and what he's said already feels like too much.</p><p>He looks past Tubbo, back at the night sky. The pressure on his legs is painful and uncomfortable, but the stars make it better, even just a little bit.</p><p>"Where's your bed?" Tubbo asks once the process is nearly over.</p><p>Tommy can't answer, so he shakes his head.</p><p>"...You don't have one?"</p><p>He looks back at his hands, wringing them through.</p><p>"I… I'm so sorry."</p><p>The stars are so bright. Since there were no torches around, no lanterns, no light, they shine much more vibrantly than they did back home. Or… back in L’manberg. This is his home now, he supposes.</p><p>"I can't… I don't know if you can come back, but I've been-"</p><p>"Fuck you," he rasps out.</p><p>Tubbo blinks blankly, then laughs awkwardly, looking back at Tommy's hands. "Yeah. Yeah, I get that."</p><p>It's sad how much they've changed since their times on SMP Earth, since their times on 2B2T, since their times on Hypixel, since their times before all of that, when Tommy was a rambunctious street-rat who stole his food and slept outside, or when Tubbo was a quieter, just as chaotic kid who cheated his own way into everything and was loveable enough to be allowed to stay.</p><p>There's almost nothing of them left.</p><p>"I miss you so much," Tubbo whispers, voice breaking.</p><p>"You- you betrayed me," Tommy says, but his voice still sounds weak in his ears, even though Tubbo flinches like he was screaming.</p><p>The silence between them is unnatural.</p><p>Dream told him that Tubbo threw away his compass (the corresponding compass that belongs to Tommy is stuck inside his Ender chest until he can find another one), Tubbo had called him selfish, Tubbo had exiled him, Tubbo had hurt him.</p><p>Tubbo had exiled him, yelled at him, hurt him, and left him.</p><p>Dream had hurt him, and then comforted him. Over and over again. But it always ended in comfort (and that was why he wasn’t concerned about Dream leaving him. He’d come back. He always did).</p><p>Dream is his friend, no matter how volatile their relationship is. Tubbo <i>was</i> his friend, but he isn’t anymore, no matter how much Tommy wants it.</p><p>“Go away,” Tommy says.</p><p>Tubbo doesn’t move, just takes a deep breath.</p><p>With all the effort and energy he has left in him, Tommy leans forward, and pushes.</p><p>Tubbo falls with all the grace of a disgraced man, landing in the dirt clumsily, and looking at Tommy with what looks like a mixture of fear and concern.</p><p>“Tommy-”</p><p>“Go <i>away</i>,” he repeats callously.</p><p>He inches back, eyes wide and stance nervous.</p><p>“Can I-”</p><p>Despite the ache, the pain, the screaming in his bones and mind, Tommy lunges forward, hand outstretched, hoping to do… <i>something.</i></p><p>He gets something of a desired effect when Tubbo flinches back, scrambling to stand up.</p><p>Tommy falls back against the wool block, drained and exhausted and weary and aching and still fucking alive after all of it, and he closes his eyes.</p><p>When he next opens his eyes, Tubbo is gone, and the stars shine so bright in the sky, that all Tommy can do is stare up at them, wishing to return to when he was a kid, to before exile, before L’manberg, before Dream SMP, before… before everything.</p><p>He just wants to be a kid again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i want you all to know that 'im still hungry' 'i think you're also concussed' 'there's no cons to cussing. unless you're BBH' is like.. my favourite thing i've written ever.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. "brotherly" reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Techno visits Logstedshire.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>me making mcm and smp earth and mcc and hypixel canon like *slaps roof of this universe* look at how many public fighting arenas can this bad boy can fit in it</p><p>also i have made,, so much world building for this fic,, so many character's back stories,, get ready because i have whole chapters of this shit lmao</p><p>also also i know wilbur was the one to call techno to help them n pogtopia but i forgot that when writing it and im sticking with it now lmao</p><p>warnings for this chapter: broken bones (not graphic n healed quickly), past death mention, arguing. not much else that i could tell</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>duolingo learning : spanish<br/>
reddit<br/>
snapchat girl: streak=8<br/>
spotify playing: call them brothers - regina spektor<br/>
spotify playing: wolf in sheep’s clothing - set it off<br/>
Apple Music playing: kill all your friends - my chemical romance </p><p> </p><p>“What the Nether happened to you?”</p><p>Tommy doesn’t jolt awake in a panic like he used to, or like he expects himself to. He rouses slowly, not even waking because he wasn’t really sleeping in the first place, eyes squinting at the pink and blue figure in front of him, blinded by the sun above head. Body aching and sore, he can’t move, or speak, and he’s trapped between the wool behind him, and whoever this is.</p><p>“Where’s Dream?” the person says. Their voice is low, and deadpan. Eret? Techno? Wilbur? Whoever it is, they raise a good question, one Tommy definitely wants answered too.</p><p>Tommy closes his eyes again, taking a deep breath in and- <i>ouch,</i> it feels like his chest is collapsing in on itself and his lungs struggle to take any proper air in. The mushroom soup from yesterday feels dangerously close to his mouth.</p><p>“Tommy? Are you dead yet?”</p><p>Ender, he wishes. This was so fucking painful.</p><p>“If I give you a health pot, will you tell me where Dream is?”</p><p>Vacantly, he nods.</p><p>A few seconds later, something cold and glass and smells like watermelon is in front of his lips. Through a feat of wonder, Tommy somehow manages to drink the potion without suffocating, largely thanks to whoever the stranger is that’s helping him now.</p><p>The effects of the potion are near instantaneous. The dull ache throughout his body dims, and he can breathe properly without the sting, and best of all, the sharp pain in his left leg starts to disappear. It doesn‘t happen immediately, but he can feel it working just as quick. </p><p>He opens his eyes again, and he’s looking directly at the sun, so he holds a hand up to shade himself. </p><p>The person standing in front of him is Technoblade.</p><p>Tommy <i>does </i>jolt up this time, panicked and scared, but above all, <i>furious.</i></p><p>“What the <i>fuck</i> are you doing here?” he spits out, and it’s rather miraculous he’s able to speak properly so quickly, but then again, Techno had always been good at potion brewing, definitely better than the average person. As he was at everything. Prick. </p><p>“Hello to you too, Theseus,” Techno says calmly. His hand hovers over the hilt of his sword, and Tommy notices, as he notices a lot of things about Techno.</p><p>“Don’t call me that.” Potion or not, he still struggles to stand up. The wool block behind him helps to balance, but his left leg still isn’t fully healed and even a potion doesn’t change the fact that he’s slept in the dirt for the past three days.</p><p>Techno watches him, and moves his hand to his side.</p><p>Trying to hide how wobbly and unstable his legs still are, Tommy turns to Techno as menacing as he can. Even though he’s two feet taller than him, it’s near impossible. “And get the fuck out of here, fucking get away.”</p><p>He looks as uninterested as always. “I gave you a health pot, now tell me where Dream is.”</p><p>“No, fuck you-”</p><p>Techno grabs his wrists, tugging him down until he stumbles back to the ground, landing in a heap in front of him. Luckily (unluckily? Ender, who knows at this point), Techno keeps a hold of his wrists. The touch is equal parts repulsive and everything he wants at the moment.</p><p>“Tell me where Dream is,” the pig says, slowly, as if he’s talking to a child. “Or do you not know?”</p><p>Tommy gulps and he can <i>feel</i> his heart beat faster. “I- I don’t know. He left the other day and I haven’t seen him since.”</p><p>He glares at him, eyes squinting warily, but eventually lets him go. Tommy scrambles back towards the wool block, trying to get away from Techno. There’s a burning sting in his wrists from where he was grabbed, and he can’t tell if he wants it back or not.</p><p>“Why do you want him?” Tommy says.</p><p>“I owe him a favour,” Techno says, looking at the horizon. Tommy looks as well. Usually, he’d wait at the beach until Dream arrived, but he kind of woke up with a broken leg today so he couldn’t really do that. “I thought we might need to, uh, discuss the logistics of that.”</p><p>Techno owes Dream a favour?</p><p>“I’ll tell him you visited,” Tommy says. He remembers he’s still sitting on the floor, so he stands back up. This time, he’s less wobbly. Thank Ender for health pots, he supposes. Once he’s standing up, he faces Techno, because despite how he had previously felt, he wasn’t <i>scared</i> of Technoblade. He’d seen this man after a shower, and pig hair tends to frizz when wet. He’s not intimidating. At least, not to Tommy.</p><p>“Will you?” Techno raises an eyebrow, and his ear flicks back.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Techno blinks. </p><p>“You can leave now,” he adds afterward, ‘politely’.</p><p>“What happened to your leg?” Techno asks, even though the conversation has obviously ended, and at this point he’s just being a nuisance on purpose.</p><p>“What happened to your face?”</p><p>“You’re deflecting.”</p><p>“You’re ugly.”</p><p>He sighs, glances at the horizon, glances at his sword, glances at Tommy’s un-broken leg, then looks back at Tommy. “You’re not very good at this whole ‘talking’ thing.”</p><p>“I’m actually the best at it. You can leave now.”</p><p>“What happened to your leg, Tommy?”</p><p>“I broke it. You can leave now.”</p><p>“How’d you break it?”</p><p>“You can leave now.”</p><p>“How’d you break your leg, Tommy?”</p><p>“I fell. You can leave now.”</p><p>“Fell from what?”</p><p>“A tree. You can leave now.”</p><p>He chortles. He does’t laugh, or chuckle, he fucking <i>chortles.</i> “A tree?”</p><p>Tommy wants to punch him, but with the amount of food he’s eaten in the past two weeks he’s rather comparable to a twig, and Technoblade is Technoblade, so he’s not going to do that. Also, he owes Dream a favour. Dream probably wouldn’t want Techno to hate him. Maybe. Yeah, that makes sense. Tommy makes perfect sense, all the time. </p><p>“When you see Dream again, tell him to babyproof the trees,” Techno says, still fucking chortling away like a dickhead.</p><p>“You’re a bitch,” he snaps.</p><p>“Yeah, you’ve always said that,” Techno shrugs.</p><p>Which is a lie, because he hasn’t.</p><p>Tommy first heard of Techno through Phil. He had known him and Wilbur for around two years at this point, but he was still a kid. He would have been eight at most when Phil first told the tales of a half pig, half piglin who survived leaving the Nether and became the most fearsome warrior in the lands. Every battle he was in, he won. Every foe he fought, he killed. He was a stone cold killer, making a living out of fighting in arenas in the lands owned by Simon.</p><p>Needless to say, he was an idol to many. </p><p>A few years later, Phil was teamed with this mysterious Technoblade for a monthly fighting arena, one that Technoblade had already won multiple times in months prior. Tommy and Wilbur, nine and fifteen at the time respectively, watched, eyes peeled on the screen they shared, as the two dominated every event, and won, rightfully so.</p><p>Tommy <i>adored</i> Technoblade. The most skilled fighter, the most feared warrior, the unkillable, the Blood God; Technoblade never dies. It was a fitting catchphrase because it was true.</p><p>Two years later, he met Technoblade in person for the first time.</p><p>He and Tubbo had been messing around outside, only eleven or twelve, pouring potions of harming down ant hills because ‘it was funny’ (Tubbo’s reasoning), when Wilbur had rushed outside, excitedly calling the pair to see who had arrived.</p><p>Standing in their living room, was none other than Technoblade.</p><p>He… doesn’t live up to the hype.</p><p>“He’s four feet tall!” Tubbo had said immediately at seeing him.</p><p>Which was true, he was. In all the images they’d seen, Technoblade was made out to be a giant, hulking warrior, inhuman and proud of it. This person standing here was barely taller than where the door handles were, and he was standing behind Phil like he was… scared? Which was impossible, Technoblade felt no fear.</p><p>“Tubbo, don’t be rude,” Wibur had hissed at his almost-brother’s friend.</p><p>“Techno, this is my son, Wilbur,” Phil had said, either ignoring the previous interaction, or he just didn’t hear it (old man genes n’ shit).</p><p>Technoblade had looked (up) at Wilbur. “Hullo.”</p><p>Wilbur looked (down) at Technoblade. “Hello.” He grabbed Tommy by the wrist, dragging him forward. “This is my brother, Tommy. And that’s Tubbo-” he points at him “-and we’re so excited to meet you!”</p><p>Meeting Technoblade for the first time was… interesting, because he didn’t live up to the image everyone portrayed of him, but at the same time he did.</p><p>Despite that, Tommy <i>adored</i> Techno. He was the most skilled fighter, and he was Phil’s friend! It was exciting.</p><p>For the first few years, Techno didn’t spend much time with the rest of them. It was mostly Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo, alone at Phil’s house, living their silly little lives. Phil visited, obviously. Even though he was a busy man with a lot of things to do, he always found a way to make time for his family.</p><p>Techno on the other hand usually had to be dragged by Phil.</p><p>“It’s Christmas, and we’re exchanging presents,” Tommy had overheard Phil saying once.</p><p>“I wouldn't want to intrude,” Techno’s voice said, clear as day. “I don’t- I don’t even have any presents to give you guys.”</p><p>“We just want your presence, Tech.”</p><p>Which was true. Christmas that year had been wonderful, even without the presents, because Tommy <i>adored</i> Techno.</p><p>Things changed when SMP Earth was founded, but only for the better.</p><p>Tommy was a troublemaker. He lived in the chaos, he loved the conflict, and if he couldn’t find any, he would sure as Nether make some. So once Techno and Phil were barred from world domination and things started to calm down, Tommy knew he had one mission: annoy the living shit out of everyone.</p><p>It works. Glaciers, pits, bridges, Tommy was the centre of it all. The best of all was breaking down Techno, because the more he annoyed Techno, the more time they spent together, the more he got to see Techno, not Technoblade.</p><p>There were lull times, where Tommy would leave Business Bay for a few days, go back home, and just relax. Most times, Tubbo would follow him. Occasionally, Wilbur and Phil would. A few times, Techno visited.</p><p>“Why, hello there, Techno,” Tommy said on one of these visits, leaning over the back of the couch and watching the pig walk through the house and head to the kitchen to grab a few potatoes. This was before The War, but he had always loved them.</p><p>“Hullo,” Techno said, mouth partially full.</p><p>“How’s the Arctic treating you?” he asked.</p><p>Techno shrugged, moving to sit on the other couch. Not on the same one as Tommy, but still. If you had told Tommy six years ago that he’d be sitting in the same room as <i>Technoblade,</i> he would’ve lost his shit.</p><p>“Cold. Wet. Phil’s there, so it’s pretty good though.”</p><p>“Are you enjoying spending time with Phil?” Tommy asked. It felt… evasive, and awkward, but Tommy had always envied how Wilbur could always spend time with him, but above all, how Techno had immediately become one of his closest friends.</p><p>(There was, of course, the time Phil found out Techno was only a year older than Wilbur, meaning he would’ve been sixteen at most when they first met, which was also, funnily enough, the time they won the monthly fighting ring. Wilbur had joked that Phil might get another son. Phil said he wasn’t Techno’s father, and that he had no intention of ever being. This claim didn’t stop him from literally packing the man’s lunch a few times, and on one memorable occasion, tucked him into bed. So while Techno <i>had</i> become one of Phil’s closest friends, there was a sense that Phil wanted something different from their relationship, and that seemed to be legal custody.)</p><p>“Yeah, Phil’s great,” Techno said.</p><p>Tommy wanted to keep talking, because it’s Technoblade, and it’s not every day you get to talk to the Blood God, but honestly? He just wanted to relax around him; something neither of them got very often.</p><p>Tommy <i>adored</i> Techno, so they sat in comfortable silence, sharing potatoes and watching the birds outside the window.</p><p>SMP Earth soon became desolate. People started to get bored, so they moved on to better, more exciting things, but many stayed or at least visited on a regular basis. Tommy and Wilbur went straight back home, and the best thing is so did Techno and Phil.</p><p>A few months passed before Tommy and Techno truly became friends, and as far as Tommy’s aware, the shift in their relationship happened when they won the Championship, along with Phil and Wilbur.</p><p>Tommy <i>adored</i> Techno, and fighting alongside him in all those games was a dream come true, and when the four of them came out on top, now all with crowns, Techno had laughed, pat Tommy’s back, had fallen into stride with all of them as they walked back home with the excitement of winning washing over them in a glowing, positive aura.</p><p>Tommy remembers… it was dark. Night had fallen by the time they had left the arena, and the stars were overhead, shining bright. The rest of them said they couldn’t see them, the streets were too bright, but Tommy could. </p><p>Wilbur saw something on a street vendor, running off to see what it was, and Phil had followed, curious to see what his son had found.</p><p>And in a moment of pure, child-like excitement, Tommy had turned around and hugged Techno.</p><p>And in what Tommy used to consider the best moment of his life ever, Techno had returned the hug. Feather-like gentle, as if he was afraid to apply too much pressure, but his arms had wrapped around Tommy all the less and it was enough.</p><p>When they had split apart, Tommy ran back to Wilbur without much of a second thought.</p><p>Tommy <i>adored</i> Techno. When Schlatt had revoked his and Wilbur’s citizenships, Wilbur had died. Shot in the neck by Punz. Tommy had managed to escape L’manberg’s walls relatively unscathed, but he was shaking from adrenaline and shock because Wilbur had <i>died</i> and he was on one life now.</p><p>He messaged Techno, hastily, fingers shaking so hard it was difficult to type.</p><p>
  <i>TommyInnit messages Technoblade: techn we need help like ight now can toy come to lamebergg</i>
</p><p>And to his surprise and wonder and joy-</p><p>
  <i>Technoblade messages TommyInnit: sure</i>
</p><p>Techno arrived around the same time as Wilbur had fully respawned. Armoured, weaponed, determined. He said he was there to take down Schlatt, to take down the government. He said he was there for anarchy's sake.</p><p>At the time, Tommy had believed he had also been here for Wilbur and Tommy and Tubbo, and to meet his new not-quite nephew Fundy, and to see Quackity again, and to be there for his family and friends, and to help, but he was being stubborn and refused to admit he has a soft spot for his family.</p><p>He had believed Techno loved him and his ragtag group of friends he had called family.</p><p>November 16th disproved his desperate belief.</p><p>Techno was everything Tommy had wanted to be for the longest time. Strong, brave, undefeatable.</p><p>Because Tommy had <i>adored</i> Techno.</p><p>"It's cause you've always been a bitch," Tommy says now.</p><p>Technoblade huffs. "Evil is in the eye of the beholder."</p><p>He wants to keep yelling, to keep shouting and fighting and pushing him away, but Technoblade is Technoblade: the unkillable, untouchable, unbeatable. And Tommy does nothing if not lose.</p><p>Technoblade isn't dumb. He's socially awkward, but he's intelligent enough to know when a situation is unfixable. So he takes a step back.</p><p>"Just tell Dream when you see him next that I want to talk to him about what happened with the Butcher Army."</p><p>He doesn't have enough energy to care about this 'Butcher Army', so he ignores it. "I'll tell him."</p><p>Technoblade takes another step back, looking Tommy up and down. "I'll see you when I see you, Theseus."</p><p>"Don't call me that," Tommy says, voice more taught than aggravated at this point.</p><p>"Tommy," he corrects, and then he turns and leaves to the East.</p><p>Tommy stands there, watching him until he's a completely unrecognisable blur of pink and blue.</p><p>Pink and blue.</p><p>Blue.</p><p>He was wearing the Arctic Empire uniform.</p><p>His throat lumps and vision blurs. Knowing Techno was far away enough that he couldn't see him, he let himself fall back to the floor, landing in a pile of dirt and leaves and wool. At least he could use the wool to make a better bed to sleep on later.</p><p>Techno was wearing the Arctic Empire uniform. How can he wear that and not think of their time on SMP Earth? How does he not think of him and Tommy? How can he be so… unbothered?</p><p>How <i>dare</i> he?</p><p>He doesn't realise he's crying until he tries standing up again, and notices how fucked his vision is. How pathetic. </p><p>He wipes his eyes. He has no time to cry. He needs food. He needs to improve his shelter. He needs to prepare for Dream.</p><p>Dream will visit tomorrow. He has to.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>dream will visit tomorrow :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>updates will be slow and sporadic bc i have high school and australian-equivalent-of-american-college and work and also adhd so i apologise in advance if you get attached </p><p>if ur curious for updates on how the fic is going im most active on tumblr @/the-pigeon :] i'll probably be posting about it there</p></blockquote></div></div>
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